a lesson in dealing with assholes

Here's the thing with assholes. They come in all shapes and sizes. You've got the snobby ones who are pretentious and rude. You've got the gross ones you just disgust you with their attitudes. You've got a lot. Tonight I dealt with the stupid asshole.

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Definition: A stupid asshole is an individual who defies common logic. You cannot use sense with them, because their thinking pattern is so strangely warped that whatever they think cannot be reasoned with anyway. And they fully and one hundred percent believe in their ways. They have no legitimacy behind their logic, they just have brash obnoxiousness.

Rant?
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Tonight I had work (I'm a lifeguard, yayy glamor!) with my friend and this guy. This guy is rude, loud, and gross. He is, in short, a stupid asshole. My friend and I get at the pools at 4, he's been there since 3:30. My friend goes over to give him a break. Twenty minutes past four he comes marching with this: "We're doing 20 minutes, get up and go to the other pool."
Um, excuse me? I do not respond to rudeness. Especially from him. So I tell him, "No, I'm doing thirty minutes. It makes more sense." (After all, it does. He started on a thirty, hence thirty minute shifts!) We argue one of the head guards asks us what's going and this is his reply, "I've been dealing with people I hate here, and this is one of them."

RUDE.

So of course he storms off and story come short, I get to stay in one pool for five hours. Which would be bad if it was actually busy. But, uh, after swim team, the pool was literally empty for the next three hours until close. I had three people in at a time tops. While he screwed over my friend in the other pool, which is worse because it has more kids in it. And he thought he was punishing me, when really he gave me a break! He's going to complain to our boss (who likes me and is annoyed by him) about working with me, so we don't have to work together anymore! (Score again?!) In the end the stupid asshole looks immature to our boss and gets stuck in the bad pool all night, and I look mature (because when she asks me about it, it'll be easy) and get a super easy night at work. Me-win? Him-ZERO!{source}

There's really no good way to deal with these bastards because they defy common logic. The only thing to do is to stand your ground (be strong!) and don't let them try and over power you, because that's exactly what they'll do. The great thing about stupid assholes is that they always screw themselves over without ever knowing it.

PS Stupid asshole gets to work with me all day Tuesday. ;-p