Friday, July 3, 2009

a lesson in dealing with assholes

Here's the thing with assholes. They come in all shapes and sizes. You've got the snobby ones who are pretentious and rude. You've got the gross ones you just disgust you with their attitudes. You've got a lot. Tonight I dealt with the stupid asshole.
Definition: A stupid asshole is an individual who defies common logic. You cannot use sense with them, because their thinking pattern is so strangely warped that whatever they think cannot be reasoned with anyway. And they fully and one hundred percent believe in their ways. They have no legitimacy behind their logic, they just have brash obnoxiousness.

Tonight I had work (I'm a lifeguard, yayy glamor!) with my friend and this guy. This guy is rude, loud, and gross. He is, in short, a stupid asshole. My friend and I get at the pools at 4, he's been there since 3:30. My friend goes over to give him a break. Twenty minutes past four he comes marching with this: "We're doing 20 minutes, get up and go to the other pool."
Um, excuse me? I do not respond to rudeness. Especially from him. So I tell him, "No, I'm doing thirty minutes. It makes more sense." (After all, it does. He started on a thirty, hence thirty minute shifts!) We argue one of the head guards asks us what's going and this is his reply, "I've been dealing with people I hate here, and this is one of them."
So of course he storms off and story come short, I get to stay in one pool for five hours. Which would be bad if it was actually busy. But, uh, after swim team, the pool was literally empty for the next three hours until close. I had three people in at a time tops. While he screwed over my friend in the other pool, which is worse because it has more kids in it. And he thought he was punishing me, when really he gave me a break! He's going to complain to our boss (who likes me and is annoyed by him) about working with me, so we don't have to work together anymore! (Score again?!) In the end the stupid asshole looks immature to our boss and gets stuck in the bad pool all night, and I look mature (because when she asks me about it, it'll be easy) and get a super easy night at work. Me-win? Him-ZERO!{source}

There's really no good way to deal with these bastards because they defy common logic. The only thing to do is to stand your ground (be strong!) and don't let them try and over power you, because that's exactly what they'll do. The great thing about stupid assholes is that they always screw themselves over without ever knowing it.

PS Stupid asshole gets to work with me all day Tuesday. ;-p


  1. I hate stupid assholes too. I'm having issues with 2 of them at te moment, so its nice to see that at least some of them are getting screwed over.

  2. Ughh! OMGOSH I can't deal with arse holes!
    They seem to follow me around. I have learnt to not answer and if someone is an arse to me.. I will just be one right back.


    P.S. but I try never to be rude!

  3. Oh I despise stupid assholes. They are everywhere these days! I'm sorry you have to work with one, but you're so right in how to handle him. Tell him that your bloggy friend thinks he's a stupid asshole too. :)

  4. Asshole Magnet is my middle name lol xoxox

  5. sounds like a terrible coworker!! i hate awkward situations like that xx

  6. Does a person that hasn't been talking to you for months after, uhm, things have been going on and then a day comes to you and screams your name and hugs you and doesn't even realise the consequences of what he says count as a stupid asshole? because in that case, YES, i hate them too and YES, i had to deal with this too and YES, i totally approve what you just said.
    gosh, sometimes it's hard to always be the mature, NORMAL ones.

    Ps: I just opened my blog, i would be pleased if you popped in because i really like yours!

  7. totally agreed honey, i think how your dealt with it was the best way and yay to be a life guard, that is such a cool job in my opinion.
    muah x

  8. Ugh I hate people like that. I work with people like that and it is so annoying. I totally feel your pain but love how his evil planning ended up in your favor. Haha thats why we call them stupid jerks. No brain, no common sense.

  9. Poor you its horrible to have to work with people like that.
    I might sound like my Grandmother here but its true that "manners cost nothing" so there is actually no need to be rude to people like he was to you.
    Just ignore the stupid asshole. hpoefully you can get the Head Guard to put him in his place ;P
    Beth xx